Missing com-templum.

This bitter earth
Well, what fruit it bears
What good is love
That no one shares
And if my life is like the dust
That hides the glow of a rose

Once upon a time there was a theory which stated that emotions are like grubs, they settle in some places and come to life as you touch them.
Let this song be a grub and nostalgia whispers that I remember the day I was lying the grass and reading Shutter Island. It was a cold and warm and cold and warm day and the sky was the sky I tried to describe so many times I ran out of words. I wrote somewhere that sky could be sad, really sad, as a winter which smells of death. I should have written I somehow liked that deathly landscape, as empty as it could be.
The sky now is not that different, not less sad, but it’s squalid, ugly as deprivation. Its emptiness doesn’t convey anything but tiredness and sloth.
The sun must rise and it will, but it will let you know it would have preferred to disappear as you asked it what sense you should search for.
Sense? Nonsense. Meaning? It would be so mean.
I am not depressed. I’ve just tried to be contemplative, but as I gazed at the sky a cloud whispered:
There’s nothing to gaze at, sorry.

Annunci

13 comments

  1. [I’ve just tried to be contemplative, but as I gazed at the sky a cloud whispered:
    There’s nothing to gaze at, sorry] You should whisper back: “that’s because you may be beautiful, but you are certainly not invisible, so please move on and stop blocking my bloody view!

      1. As you may have guessed, I’m the usual bloody British!
        Yep! Kiel clouds are polite clouds, that try not to bother you too much wile they do their business. Italian ones don’t give a damn since they are often on holyday from Norway or England, and people on holyday is often impolite.

        1. I miss you, Afrikaner – even though you say “bloody”.
          I’m writing the fucking paper about Canada and its relationship with the UK as well, not to mention the Empire. Hard to forget you.

        2. Sorry I had to leave for a cup of tea and a game of bridge with the local old ladies.
          We were saying:
          a) Have you ever considered that missing people can be part of the stress that you feel in Italy? You want (some times, feel obliged) to meet/give time to everybody that contacts you despite your already busy agenda, so that you are distressed of the human inability to do everything. In kiel you were free from this.
          b) I disturbed you because of [I should write in English. I should and I would say that “I must”] and wanted to offer my availability to correspond in English when you feel like it, but this arises two big problems.
          Firstly the fact that this offer collides with point (a) and as such should be directly discarded.
          Then there is the problem to find something new to speak of on which we disagree.
          This last point is very important because otherwise: You. “I firmly believe..”; Me “You are perfectly correct!”; You “ and I think that.. “; Me: “ I totally agree!”; You: “And you must understand that..”; Me: “I couldn’t of said it better!”; You: “get out of here.. NOW!!!”
          c) Since (a) and (b) nullify each other, there remains only (c) that is here only because the unwritten laws of lists, dictate that there must always be “at least” three points in a list.
          This said, you must forgive me since tonight, I too am working at home for some strange reason, and to escape my numbers I decided to importune a respectable young lady during her work.

        3. a) I have. Of course.
          b) Do you remember the first time we met in March, when we spent hours arguing and I kept thinking “Oh my God, he wrote me he can’t stand people who don’t listen to him because they just want to talk”?
          And anyway, there’s a topic we argue about: love of neighbor. Already forgotten? Or rather you’ve changed your mind…?
          c) Please importune me. Actually I’m looking forward to importune you, so to speak.

        4. As for “arguing topics” I am sure we can find also something else, because on that one we are more or less in a stall (even if I am right naturally).
          You thought that in March? Really I meant that I do not stand people that do not listen (in general, not to me in particular since I really do not care) except to what they are saying. The lovely thing of that confrontation was that the concepts evolved and the arguments changed since, although we were trying to prove our point , we adapted our views with the new concepts that emerged.
          By the way, two Jehovah’s Witnesses came at my door (no this is “not” a dirty joke) last Saturday and we exchanged briefly a few opinions, because unfortunately I had an appointment.
          In that occasion I used your critic on the reliability of the bible (the central point of their ideology), and the fact that it has been translated so many times in so many languages that many parts have lost their original meaning, and so I insisted on the necessity of searching the lord in the words ,that could/should not be taken literally .
          They was fascinated and insisted in coming back another day to speak of the matter more extensively (I will convert them!!).
          So a concept meant to argue my point of view, has been used by myself to further that same view with others.
          I find this beautiful.. or maybe horrible in a strange way.. or maybe both.

        5. You’re lucky. When the J’s Witnesses came at my door and I told them exactly what you’ve written, they kept repeating:
          “But it’s the Bible.”
          I told them I would have talked to them again only if they had read the Qur’an. I bet they haven’t.

          What about you being a Jesuit? I’m waiting. Never had sex with a Jesuit.

        6. [Never had sex with a Jesuit.] ho my gosh!!! You mean you had sex with a Franciscan, a Dominican and all the others????
          This.. this.. is very impolite..
          Anyway I am looking in the matter, but I fear they lost a bit the spirit of the old times. The Jesuit I am speaking with, says they even asked him if he would mind a lot to be transferred from Rome to Milan! In the old times the pope said “go and bring the Word to the merciless headhunters” and they picked up their bible and went.
          You should also remember that if I became a Jesuit I tecnically could not have sex with you.

        7. [[Never had sex with a Jesuit.] ho my gosh!!! You mean you had sex with a Franciscan, a Dominican and all the others???? ]
          Don’t forget the Mennonite. They’re my fav. They remind me of Johann van Leiden.

          [You should also remember that if I became a Jesuit I tecnically could not have sex with you.]
          We’ll find a solution which lets us have sex, don’t worry. I want you to become a Jesuit, so that we can reform the order, so that you’ll be sent back to South Africa on a mission. Aren’t you happy?

        8. [Don’t forget the Mennonite. They’re my fav. They remind me of Johann van Leiden.] I read “Q” by the way! Clearly I’m too catholic because the heretic thing fell literally apart while I was reading it, and the last chapter, when I got to it, was simple flaying papers !

          [We’ll find a solution which lets us have sex, don’t worry. I want you to become a Jesuit, so that we can reform the order, so that you’ll be sent back to South Africa on a mission.] I like a girl with a plan! You are missing only a cigar!

          [Aren’t you happy?] As the pawn that is sacrificed to get to the king!

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